


i wish (be happy, move on)

by bitterbubblegumbitch



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Bipolar Lizzie Saltzman, Gen, Legacies post s01e10, TW: Suicide, Warning: Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 12:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17981558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterbubblegumbitch/pseuds/bitterbubblegumbitch
Summary: "When you turn 22, the Gemini must Merge. Only the strongest of the two twins will survive it."No."You got scared. You had one of your… episodes. And you went dark. Paranoid. To you, Josie became your biggest threat. You became obsessed with winning. And then you lost control."No."I killed her?"No.Or, Lizzie finds her own way to save Josie.





	1. no rest for the wicked

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is first foray into this fandom and also my first time writing fanfic in a very long time. I've never watched the show but I am obsessed with Lizzie Saltzman and have done as much research as I can to put this together.

“No. I said wait!”

Lizzie stood in front of her mirror, mind filled with anguish over. What? She couldn’t remember.

“Lizzie?” Someone called for her. “Lizzie? Lizzie?!” Josie. It was Josie looking for her.

Turning around at the sound of her twin’s voice getting closer, Lizzie made eye contact with Josie and rushed toward her, gathering Josie into her arms and resting her cheek on her shoulder.

Relief rushed through her at the feeling of her sister’s warmth and Marc Jacobs Daisy scent.

“Lizzie, are you ok?”

_No. I said wait!_

“Absolutely.”

* * *

 

It had been three weeks since that day and it felt like everything had changed for only her. While Josie was distracted dancing around Penelope, and her father was occupied dealing with a million things, Lizzie had faded into the background. She couldn't bring herself to be bitchy, or start fights with Hope. She was being plagued by nightmares- no, memories, and couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. 

The moonlight peeked in between the shelves and into the little nook Lizzie had created for herself in the corner of the library. She had been coming here every night she woke up from a nightmare or couldn’t sleep at all.

Curled up in an armchair, cocooned by the soft blanket she had dragged from her room, Lizzie squeezed her eyes shut. If she continued to suffer from a lack of sleep, more people would notice. Concealer could only do so much.

It was bad enough that Josie kept making those sad cow eyes when they bumped into each other between classes or after breakfast. She had wondered why Lizzie was never asleep by the time she herself had nodded off and rarely in bed by the time their shared alarm rang.

Lizzie did what she swore to never do to her twin. She lied.

_When you turn 22, the Gemini must Merge._

She opened her eyes, almost screaming in frustration.

_I have to sleep at some point, damn it. There has to be some sort of spell or potion to help._

Twenty six books later, and she had finally found it. Without throwing anything across the room.

 _Sue me, but I’m not the research type._  
  
For the first time in weeks, Lizzie found herself making her way back to her bedroom with the intention of going back to sleep. No more sneaking in just before seven, no more caking on concealer, no more hiding.

“Ad somnum octo horas,” she stumbled through the foreign words.

The world faded to black, and Lizzie welcomed the prospect of rest without fear. 

A blue woman stood in front of her, one eyebrow quirked. Lizzie startled at a yell behind her, the heat of an explosion brushing her cheek. She was in the middle of a battlefield, yet all she could focus on was the woman in front of her. 

"And when you find out your father’s secret, you inevitably will, history will likely repeat itself and you will kill Josie all over again."

Lizzie's face crumpled at the realization that there was no saving her twin, her soulmate. That she would be the one to end her life. That she would be left alone. There had to be some way, something she could do. This woman, blue as she was, with the accessories adorning her body, had to help them. 

"Your wish is my command," she had said. The _Genie_ had said. 

That was it! Genie's granted wishes and she had only one: save Josie. 

But before she could get a word out, even shape her lips around the first word, fate intervened. 

"Thank you for my freedom Lizzie," the Genie said as she snapped her fingers and disappeared, taking Lizzie's last hope with her.

The battlefield was gone, replaced by warm tones, the blinding sun, and an empty room. Lizzie sat up slowly, sore as if she had been in the same twisted position for too long. When she looked to her right, she saw that Josie was gone and her stomach jumped into her throat, beating hard and fast. Before she could panic, Lizzie saw that the uniform that her sister had laid out the night before was gone along with her backpack. With the sun up this high, light punching its way into the room, it was obvious that she had missed breakfast and probably her first class. 

Huffing, Lizzie let herself fall back onto her mountain of pillows. Her dad would probably be on her ass soon enough about skipping class ( _if he wasn't too busy with Hope to notice_ ) and she wasn't in the mood to put on her mask of aloofness and her armor of makeup and fashion so she figured she may as well get as much rest as she could. 

One glance at the clock showed 9:36. It had been almost exactly eight hours since she had cast the spell to put herself to sleep. 

_Time to find a new spell. One that won't trap me in a nightmare for eight frickin' hours._


	2. broken chain, broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skipping over some canon scenes so some things won't be entirely in context. This is pretty much an AU at this point?

It was past midnight, Lizzie knew that. But there she was, punching away at the sand-filled bag in front of her, knuckles protected by black gloves. It seemed that lately, nothing was going right for her.

 

She was still having nightmares that kept her up the whole night as she only used the sleep incantation on weekends when there weren’t any classes to attend and breakfast was served later. She had lost the election that she was so sure she would win and Josie, who hadn’t showed any interest in the position, had won.

 

Lizzie had smiled, hugging her sister close before pushing her toward the stage, and joining everyone else in clapping. Josie was just as shocked as she was, which confused Lizzie.

 

_If she hadn’t applied to be a candidate, then how did she win?_

 

But Lizzie didn’t want Josie to feel bad for her or reject the position. No, Josie had looked far too happy while giving her acceptance speech for Lizzie to discourage her in any way. No matter that it would be Josie who received their father’s special _I’m proud of you_ smile and hug.

 

Regardless, Lizzie had bigger things on her mind despite being disappointed at the loss. The flashbacks kept coming, joining together as fragmented pieces of a puzzle that she didn’t want to solve. Running for Head of Council really only served to keep up appearances, but deep inside, Lizzie knew that this was a good thing.

 

Still, she continued to strike.

 

“It’s sweet of you not to want to hurt the punching bag,” a familiar voice came from the doorway.

 

Penelope had settled against the doorway, body leaning on one elbow in a faux relaxed way. She still wore her uniform, although it was less crisp and perfect than it was that afternoon, when Lizzie had last seen her.

 

_Ugh, that better not be related to Josie…_

 

“You wanna take its place?” Lizzie replied, not actually willing to get into it with Satan.

 

Equally unwilling to look at Penelope, she focused on hitting the bag in a way that didn’t send shockwaves up her entire shoulder, even as the other girl kept talking.

 

“You were so obsessed with winning that you didn’t even think to ask Josie if she wanted to run for the council before you assumed you would win?” Penelope continued.

 

Obsessed with winning. The words struck Lizzie like a punch to the gut.

 

_You got scared. You had one of your… episodes. And you went dark. Paranoid. To you, Josie became your biggest threat. You became obsessed with winning. And then you lost control._

 

“I _love_ Josie. And I had no reason to think she wanted to run,” Lizzie fought back tears. “There is nothing I would put before her happiness.”

 

And it was true. Lizzie knew it was even if her sister’s _will they, won’t they_ lover didn’t.

 

“Oh really?” Penelope started. “From where I’m standing, that doesn’t seem to be quite true. She spends all of her energy taking care of you. Because you are a black hole of time. And energy. And _love_. Just sucking it all up. Never giving any of it back.”

 

One moment of silence. Lizzie’s jaw clenched as emotion rushed through her, unidentifiable in the flood. There was rage and grief and pure hurt.

 

Penelope looked her up and down, _hmm_ , and walked away, turning her back on Lizzie’s agony. The second those footsteps faded to where she couldn’t hear them, Lizzie let out a whimper as tears bubbled over even as she screwed her features up in an attempt to stop them.

 

She turned back toward the bag hanging from ceiling from one thin chain.

 

“De sulta!” She growled while raising one hand.

 

A hole punched through the bag, sending powder everywhere and ripping the whole thing off the ceiling. But Lizzie didn’t feel any better staring at the destruction she had created.

 

 _“I just. I don’t ever want to hurt anybody,”_ she had once said to her dad. And here she was, so capable of losing control and using her powers for darkness.

 

“Oh, god,” Lizzie sobbed and brushed her fingertips against her forehead in shock.

 

_I’m a lost cause._


End file.
